Mr. Mackerel
The Mantle of Mistrust
“Rest assured there is no deeper than rock bottom”, said Professor Arkengaard. And Professor Arkengaard is at all times mistaken, which is a fine gauge as to the veracity of statements about the world. Whatever Professor Arkengaard says, the opposite is probably true.
Broccoli Man gets made redundant
England has its own special superheroes. Today we’re going to talk about a dear friend of Mr. Mackerel: Broccoli Man. Broccoli Man is a superhero with the power of broccoli (being generally nutritious) and can always be counted on in a pickle. Unfortunately Broccoli Man was made redundant recently and is now on the dole. [...]
Ultimately ushering in the usual updates
One may have noticed “with a vengeance” proved somewhat of an exaggeration. To hold you over until further updates, let us remember the 5th of November with some altogether alluring alliteration.
147 Steps to Achieving URGENT BLISS and POLICE INVESTIGATION
1. Three years ago my friend Cyrus and I met on the beach of a Spanish town with an Arabic name at 2 in the morning. I didn’t know him yet. He had exited the last train drunk at the station near the beach, several stops too early. He was nowhere near his camping site. [...]
Failed synopses for romantic drama films
Synopses is the plural of synopsis, in case you were wondering. Read downwards (while reading left to right) if you’re interested in how badly a blogger can fail when imagining the plot of a romantic drama film.
The wonders of female hygiene
One of the most insightful and amatory questions to ask a girl when on a first date with her, aside from “what’s your cup size?” and “do you shave in a pattern?” is: “what’s your absorbency rating?”
Spider Guy and the Unfortunate Love Affair
A chronicling of passionate admiration, spiders, and goats.
Because it’s still pretty okay to have our tea pots
Skin glowing with heat on a Summer beach. It made her doze off. It made me doze off.
Sometimes insects
Bugs are cool. There is at all times a weirder one than the weirdest one you’ve ever seen.
Harmonica man, born of an orchard
He played the harmonica above his plate, beans in a muddy sauce, remembering his days playing with Buddy Guy. He controlled the vibrations of air in this room, his canvas. The air which he played spun a melody of traversing a valley. In thoughts and in tune he followed the river therein. The river brought [...]
