Law of the Rabbits

photo credit: nblumhardt The rabbit magistrates conferred. At the conclusion of the meeting, they resolved to write a law so convoluted and prolix, that no bunny or fox or human could ever hope to read or comprehend it in their lifetime. The rabbit magistrates would thus be able to make any judgment they wanted in [...]

Inside the giant egg

I was born inside a giant egg.

It had no yolk or albumen, just an inflatable swimming pool and plastic books.

Nobody loves 7 Upside Down like Henry M.

dnL was a short-lived soft drink, which you can read about in the screenshot below: Henry M. loves dnL. He loves it so very much that when he learned the product was going to be discontinued, he bought all the remaining stock in his town’s supermarkets and stored it in a cupboard, where his camping [...]

The Mantle of Mistrust

“Rest assured there is no deeper than rock bottom”, said Professor Arkengaard. And Professor Arkengaard is at all times mistaken, which is a fine gauge as to the veracity of statements about the world. Whatever Professor Arkengaard says, the opposite is probably true.

147 Steps to Achieving URGENT BLISS and POLICE INVESTIGATION

1. Three years ago my friend Cyrus and I met on the beach of a Spanish town with an Arabic name at 2 in the morning. I didn’t know him yet. He had exited the last train drunk at the station near the beach, several stops too early. He was nowhere near his camping site. [...]

Failed synopses for romantic drama films

Synopses is the plural of synopsis, in case you were wondering. Read downwards (while reading left to right) if you’re interested in how badly a blogger can fail when imagining the plot of a romantic drama film.

The wonders of female hygiene

One of the most insightful and amatory questions to ask a girl when on a first date with her, aside from “what’s your cup size?” and “do you shave in a pattern?” is: “what’s your absorbency rating?”

Because it’s still pretty okay to have our tea pots

Skin glowing with heat on a Summer beach. It made her doze off. It made me doze off.

Harmonica man, born of an orchard

He played the harmonica above his plate, beans in a muddy sauce, remembering his days playing with Buddy Guy. He controlled the vibrations of air in this room, his canvas. The air which he played spun a melody of traversing a valley. In thoughts and in tune he followed the river therein. The river brought [...]

Truck toaster || A story about women and dewy mornings

photo credit: uli harder The arms of those tall squidly humans are flailing about; they occasionally hit the bongo. The liquid turns to blue, I forgot: does this mean it’s poison or that we’ve found an elixir of life?