Philosophy of the peanutbutter jar

Sandwich: Mr Mackerel, does the ontological niche of a peanut butter jar decide its purpose as well as its identity?

Mr Mackerel: Sit very, very still.

JOHN, collector of angry people

NEWBURY WEEKLY NEWS John collects angry people. Paul Buxom and Eline Frohling of Newbury Weekly News subjected him to an interview. When we visit him in his stately manor, John Elderberry, who goes by the all capital JOHN, looks surprised and confused.

Janus Schmeisser’s call

Janus Schmeisser kept a vigilant eye on his dog, whom he suspected to be in cahoots with the Falangists. Janus was a 48-year-old native German, Dutch resident, and believed he was living in Civil War-era Spain.

Conversation between Mr Mackerel and a bell pepper

Bell Pepper: “There approaches a roaring sound, Mr Mackerel. Shall we presently yell and run in terror?” Mr Mackerel: “But Pepps, that is the farmers’ parade. Look there, see the farmers approach the bridge. Look at the bridge, and look at the farmers approaching it. They are in view of the bridge, and making their [...]