photo credit: jonstahl

Sandwich: Mr Mackerel, does the ontological niche of a peanut butter jar decide its purpose as well as its identity?

Mr Mackerel: Sit very, very still.

Sandwich: Excuse me, Mr Mackerel? Do you mean its purpose is only defined based on its contents when always used for its original intent, but dynamic tensions can change its purpose in a way that its surroundings have not only become irrelevant in deciding its purpose but place it in a quantum state where its purpose can be both true to its identity and, say, a container for preserves, until either has come into effect?

Mr Mackerel: I mean that there’s a big ass spider on your face.

Sandwich: Oh, that’s Rudolph.

Mr Mackerel: Rudolph, yes? He is allowed to live?

Sandwich: Why, yes. He’s just a spider. And I think he looks cute.

Mr Mackerel: I see that. Very elegant as well. Very limber. Does he catch many bugs?

Sandwich: None, it seems. I’m not sure how he survives!

Mr Mackerel: Maybe Rudolph’s infected by a parasite that lays eggs in his body, but he digests them before they mature, parasitising the parasite.

Sandwich: That… could be the case, I suppose.

Mr Mackerel: Maybe his kind intentionally grows and harvests parasite maggots in his intestines, just like we could have a vegetable patch in our abdomen.

Sandwich: I don’t think we could, Mr Mackerel. I don’t know about that. What do the maggots feed on?

Mr Mackerel: Peanut butter?

Sandwich: You’re just being ridiculous now, Mr Mackerel.

Mr Mackerel: Maybe your mother is being ridiculous.

Sandwich: Did you just do what I think you did?

Mr Mackerel: All I did was your momma.

Sandwich: Mr Mackerel!!

Mr Mackerel: That’s what she said.