photo credit: MFS

LONDON – A gross creature which gobbles up a person’s tongue and then replaces it with its own body has been found in Britain for the first time.

The bug, which has the scientific name cymothoa exigua, was discovered inside the mouth of a mother of four during a violent dispute with a TfL employee at Earl’s Court tube station.

The 3.5cm creature had grabbed onto the woman’s tongue and slowly eaten away at it and drained its blood until only a shrivelled stub was left. It had then latched onto the stub and become the woman’s “replacement tongue”.

The 21-year-old woman was still able to speak, but barely coherently. Bystanders noted that the woman’s face became red as she yelled furiously to get her points across.

Scientists are very excited by the find

Dr Jim Bow of the Horniman Museum in South London told Metro newspaper: “We have always suspected the existence of this bug, but so far in all my 13 years at the museum I haven’t seen proof of this species, so it’s a remarkable find.”

Since its discovery the bug has been found in at least 17 more people, of 19 people examined who had come in contact with the woman. Medical specialists mention an alarming infection rate that could become or have already become a rampant epidemic.

It is not yet clear how the parasite can be warded off, but judging by the examined subjects there is an elevated risk for persons with a propensity toward chitchat, worry and complaint.

Freaked out

But don’t be too freaked out – scientists say the creature does not pose any lethal threat to humans. Affected persons do experience pain when speaking, but living with the parasite should be perfectly possible when speaking sparingly and softly.

A medical specialist wishing to remain anonymous was noted as saying: “It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.”