LONDON – A gross creature which gobbles up a person’s tongue and then replaces it with its own body has been found in Britain for the first time.
The bug, which has the scientific name cymothoa exigua, was discovered inside the mouth of a mother of four during a violent dispute with a TfL employee at Earl’s Court tube station.
The 3.5cm creature had grabbed onto the woman’s tongue and slowly eaten away at it and drained its blood until only a shrivelled stub was left. It had then latched onto the stub and become the woman’s “replacement tongue”.
The 21-year-old woman was still able to speak, but barely coherently. Bystanders noted that the woman’s face became red as she yelled furiously to get her points across.
Scientists are very excited by the find
Dr Jim Bow of the Horniman Museum in South London told Metro newspaper: “We have always suspected the existence of this bug, but so far in all my 13 years at the museum I haven’t seen proof of this species, so it’s a remarkable find.”
Since its discovery the bug has been found in at least 17 more people, of 19 people examined who had come in contact with the woman. Medical specialists mention an alarming infection rate that could become or have already become a rampant epidemic.
It is not yet clear how the parasite can be warded off, but judging by the examined subjects there is an elevated risk for persons with a propensity toward chitchat, worry and complaint.
Freaked out
But don’t be too freaked out – scientists say the creature does not pose any lethal threat to humans. Affected persons do experience pain when speaking, but living with the parasite should be perfectly possible when speaking sparingly and softly.
A medical specialist wishing to remain anonymous was noted as saying: “It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.”
Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ.
ah. i see what you did there.
didn’t hit me until i saw the “it’s not a bug, it’s a feature”...facepalm
..Holy shit.
I thought a few other things would set off alarm bells, but I do fear I’ve been too subtle.
wow Thats totally not true.
I have known for a long time now that Cymothoa Exigua is only found in fish.
It is a parasite that eats the hosts tongue in order to take its place.
Once there it gets nourishment by feeding off of the food that the fish decides to eat.
Get your facts right, dont always believe the internet people.
I lol’d. This type of arthropod does exist, but its hosts are fish.
The same people who think this is real, are the same idiots who spread old wives tales in chain letters.
Use that pink fleshy thing. Please.
Cymothoa exigua actually exists and functions exactly as described in this article, only it replaces fishes’ tongues instead of humans’.
This from Wikipedia. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cymothoa_exigua) I wonder if… ah, it’s originally from 2005.
Nice job on the research, though.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_4200000/newsid_4209000/4209004.stm
I see what you did there as well.
oh thank god, I kept wanting to cry and never leave my dorm room until I read that last part.
Uh, that’s a deep sea isopod. It’s about a foot long, way too big to fit in most organisms’ mouths. It’s not the same species as the tongue-replacing parasites.
If I were you, I’d find a proper picture.
i dont know what your smoking but that is a crustaceon and cymothoa exigua are “from” them
That picture is of a deep sea crustacean. why is that picture there? it is very misleading.
This is great! Yes Mr. Mackerel, perhaps it is a bit too subtle…but still, great stuff.
Thanks all for the comments!
Five thousand unique visitors while I was busy dreaming about a bizarre love affair with Sarah Palin. So my apologies that I didn’t approve your comments quicker.
Proper picture has now been added.
That would be a fantastic feature!
and really…the people that were ‘informing’ that this was untrue…did they really believe that it was meant to be serious? I swear, I used to think the internet could be used to increase knowledge, but when I read comments like those I start to think maybe the stupidity is spreading…
Haha… i’m lolling while I’m typing, those dipshits that freaked out in the begining of the comments… dumb fucks. Wonder if they fell for the nigerian “Oh please help me move 2 bazzilion dollars out of my country” scam.
well your mean and you should watch your language mister no swearsies
Well, that’s a bit harsh.
There is certainly no shortage of idiots on the internet, but I know one person who fell for this who is (usually) quite sharp and intelligent.
Maybe it shows that authoritative language can make people believe anything. Or maybe it’s just that most people don’t really read from a website, they skim. I don’t know.
Hi. i’m a scary little dead girl and if you dont send this message to 20 people i’ll bite your tongue off and live in your mouth. i will eat all the food you put in your mouth, and did i mention I’M SCARY??
hi! im a scary little girl who loves to run around and bite peoples tongue as a hobby. also, do believe me,if not i will come to your house tonight and replace your fuckn tongue with myself.. xoxo
Holy mother of Frank Zappa! That’s so nasty. Now I know why I don’t like bugs…ewwww.
Hahaha, I thought this was real. I closed my mouth real fast, lol.
Good one. Thank you, all other people for pointing out that these only grow in animals…thank goodness. Good one, Mr. Mackarel.
Ha! I caught on at “propensity toward chitchat”. Had me goin’ there for a sec…
You caught me. It was only when I was reading the comments that I caught on. Well done on a good prank.
@Reticent: No, I knew it was untrue. I just wanted to do some research, in case this person was making stuff up randomly, especially about science.
It’s a good prank, though.
@Boob Biter: Let’s hope you don’t count me as one of those people who freaked out.
I do believe this parasite lives in fish, not in humans.
ive read so many things that say that these are rare. but while working in australia i saw literally hundreds of these that were attached to the tongues of ranking cod that came in in deliveries so they can not be that rare. Literally in every lug of rankin cod we received i would say at least one or 2 had this parrasite. Scary looking things though i still remeber the first one i ever saw it scared the hell out of me. with the legs that are hooks etc. creepy but not rare.
Yes, they only infest fish now, but down by the nuclear power station outfall they grow much bigger and they developed a taste for human flesh after the suicide last fall. Anyone for a swim?